(SAMPLE) UNEDITED
MORNING PAGES
Day #8 of a new
Morning Page goal!
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DE 19, 2008 • 12:15 PM
8/1 • HU • free weights
Favourite Motel, Favourite Room
Vancouver island, BC
Ahhhh … new slippery pens
in a variety of colours. It's scrumptuous and I am clearly spoiled. There are people who do without, here in my own spoiled, first-world country who sleep outsde in the
weather and eat out of garbage bins while I sit in a warm room overlooking the ocean. Is it shameful? Is it an opportunity for me to get over myself? Is it about counting my blessings? Is it about choices that I, and the homeless, have made — at a soul level? Is it speaking to me about the ways I could contribute to the world? Is it something I'm milking
thoughts out of in order to
have something relatively interesting to talk to myself about in my morning pages? I must remember to add The
8/2
Speed of Trust to the orientation reading list. I think
I ought to put the reading list somewhere. Maybe on ideoz.net. Maybe on the wiki. |
I am bored of doing this and I want to shop and spend a bunch of money on things. Just affluenza, I think. The Christmas buying and selling frenzy has me intrigued and eager to feel the thrill of the newness, the sense of treasure-hunting, the fulfillment that comes from having a whole bunch of stuff! (Yeah me! I have buying power!!!) Thank the Gods there is the other side of me. The side of me that fights the buying of stuff. The side of me that can hardly 'do' my birthday or the
8/3
holidays with the big huge wishlist anymore. It's that devil versus angel scenario — the one about the little animated icons on each shoulder. I want, need, demand, new things, spending money, getting stuff. Mostly, (who am I kidding? I'm not at mostly, yet) rather — some of the time, I am able to get away with just fondling the stuff as my inner, spoiled demon, affluenza-monster screams to be heard and creates feelings of lonliness and loss and uncoolness and pouting and rage — I manage to detach myself enough to walk (slowly) away. Then I have the angry depression that too often slides into ice cream and / or chocolate therapy. (Wow! Is that really true?) Thanks God. TDa! |
