A number of years before I came out to British Columbia from Ontario, my sister said something to me that gave me a new perspective on both my good and bad life experiences.

I had been complaining yet again about stuff that happened to me during my childhood and she said that the fact that my parents had not been there for me during my childhood gave me, my self-sufficiency, so unlike she and my older sister, who had depended on my parents when their long relationships(marriages) broke up, I had  relied on myself to get me through and had the good sense to seek councilling. I had grown strong because of my "bad" life experiences.

Also, if I had not experienced these same things in my life, I would not be me, myself and I. A very unique person! Yes, I have problems that I have had to and continue to have to resolve but I have been told that most of the time I am a nice person. I know that I try to be kind, caring and empathic to others and their personal situation. As a very good friend once said, if you have not walked a mile in someone else's shoes how can you judge them, you have no idea what they have experienced or what it did to their psyche. Even in the same family, siblings have been known to experience things differently from one another. I think it is because we are not coming from the same place, I am not my older sister, who was the first born child in the family, nor am I, my other sister who was the baby of the family. My older sister had to grow up early because our Mother expected her to take care of us younger siblings. While my younger sister got somewhat spoiled as the baby of the family, as well she nearly died twice when we were younger, so we all were told to take care of her. Quite truthfully, I suspect I resented her because my Mother had a favorite and my little sister was it. Now we are good friends but that took time. There still has been times when my sister can not understand why I am upset with my Mother for things that happened years ago but she was not the one who was treated like a outcast in her own family so that would be the reason. I do not think that anyone can completely understand what you experienced in your life, they can only try.

Often what we dislike in others is what we don't like about ourselves. It is called projection, I have been told.

I believe that we attract both other people who are like us, also others who we need in our lives to help us learn lessons for our benefit. This can be very painful but I guess I would have to say worth it in the long run.

I must go have dinner now.